In the beginning of February 2018, I had taken up a challenge to brush up my drawing skills the entire month. It was a part of My 12 Months 12 Skills Challenge which many of my readers at Quora and friends knew about.
But, what only three people knew about was the fact that, I decided that every drawing I would be making would be based on glimpses that one day I would want to live with my supposed someone. And, here is what I have imagined as of this date, all on paper.
Escaping this material world, getting lost in the warmth of her warm, soft and scintillating kiss. I wonder if anything at that moment would be strong enough to distract me or pull me away from her.
When bad times would strike, I would just lie there on her lap. There, I would try to figure out what to do next in that hour of confusion, trouble or emptiness.
Will I always find a solution to my conundrums and problems with my head resting on her thigh? I don’t think so. But, the very thought that I will have someone’s lap to go to when in distress, it makes me feel secure and halves my worries.
I imagine myself loving her just so very much that every morning that she would wake up with me lying next to me, I hope she will have a reason to feel content, happy and delighted that it’s me she chose to spend the rest of her life with.
Like, that enchanted feeling when you have someone next to you who would love you endlessly no matter even if the world has no more love to shower on you. That’s the way I wish to make her feel every single day I get to live with her.
And, each of those mornings, I would curl her up right into my arms, pick her up above the ground, and tighten my grip as she would rest her chin on my shoulder and leave her mesmerizing breaths on my naked neck leaving me with goosebumbs all over me.
In those moments, I see myself surrendering to her, kissing, smelling and touching her while letting her do all of those same things to me. And, I am sure all of that time I would still be wondering how did a nincompoop like me actually ended up with a girl as surreal and perfect as her.
I also imagine us elevating our togetherness to the next level and maturing together sooner or later. And then maybe someday, she would give me the pride of getting pregnant with her.
Yup, making a baby with my future beloved someone is a sight which I must have played in my head like a gazillion times hitherto this writing. And, at each of those times I only have this particular vision of us drooling me up.
Vision where we both would be lying on the bed with me smiling and dreaming what a big change we would both be at the cusp of witnessing in our lives, while she would be asleep with our baby within her.
Also, when it would all have happened, I also imagine us going on long silent walks, each holding the hands of the kiddo while connecting with our eyes, smiling, and feeling proud and happy for all that we would have accomplished as a couple.
Together, making up for each other’s weaknesses while bolstering our strengths, and having created a child together, I think those walks would be more meaningful with us talking through the eyes than through the mouths. That would be us as a mommy and a daddy.
But, good things are not all I have envisaged in my head about my life with my future someone. I know that life hits hard when one least expects it to. And, when I thought about it, the worst thing that could happen to me at such a time would be if I lost her someday.
To whatever uneventful fate life would have veered our family towards at that dire time, I would still love her, miss her, hear her and feel her everywhere around me. I think that’s how it would be. And, in the days after that, I see myself visiting her tomb with our child time to time.
I see myself sitting there silently for hours, staring at the tomb, reminiscing sundry beautiful memories and moments that we cherished and lived together. I would narrate her stories to our child there. I would tell him/her what an amazing person his/her mother was.
I would do it as long as I would keep growing older, still smiling at whatever happiness we both brought to each other’s lives when we were together.
Most importantly, I would always strive to ensure that I will be more of a mother than a father to our child. That way, I would try to keep as much of her alive in me as much I will be able to.
That would be my way of keeping her alive with me and my child even after life would have taken her away from us. And, that’s where my imaginations about my life with my future someone ends, having envisaged the best and the worst. Bliss!
Images sourced from @jshilanjanm