Journaling. Or in easier terms, writing out everything you have in your head and heart on a piece of paper or on a computer screen. And, that is exactly what these Miracle Morning Musings that I have been writing over the past six days have been all about. And, today is the seventh day and I am writing another one of these.
When writing a journal, I don’t plan things out like what is it that I want to write today, and how I am going to structure it et cetera. Rather, I just sit in a cross-legged position with my laptop ahead of me, and I get onto verbalizing each thought which keeps popping up in my head. This way, I get to ensure that my words would be as raw and real a reflection of me, as they could have been.
Also, it is not the first time that I have taken up journaling in my life. I took it up even in the past. The thing is, I just could not dedicate enough time. No, that would be my mind giving a lame excuse. The truth is, I simply could not manage my time well, and thus lost out on building this marvelous practice an innate and natural component of my days like showering or brushing my teeth.
Furthermore, it’s about writing with cent percent spontaneity. It pushes my unconscious mind to let out what it has been holding in its sequestered bins- The guilts that I never really got over. The times when I did wrong to others and pretended that I did not. The failures which I simply buried so I would not have to be embarrassed by them. And, of course, the lost dreams which I never realized.
But, don’t get me wrong. It’s not just about living the negative emotions and experiences from the days of yore. This empowering of the unconscious mind has helped me reminisce countless joyous and sweet memories of the past- The times when I used to be a kid, or the times when my father was around, or even the instance when I proposed a girl for the first time. And, that FYI, is a great episode.
And, though I admit that the last one was not a good experience, it definitely was a funny one. Trust me, I have never had a leaf out of past for which I humiliated myself as much (Pun intended). Not many people know of that episode of my life. But anyway, I guess that would make up for a good writing some other day. Right now, there is something else what just popped into my head and I need to let out.
And, this one is something that I have never shared with anyone to this day. Now you see, I have been very overt in my writings which I share in my blog posts, or on Quora, that I am an aspiring author. And, in some of my posts, I have even shared with my readers that I have already taken up a book writing project. But, what I have never shared with people is that I have done it twice, and either time, I didn’t reach the stage of fruition.
Basically, I have a story that I need to share. Its something that I believe can transform lives on individuals like me. I feel so strongly about it because it is the very set of tales and experiences that transformed my life. I say so not because I wish to be an author of a book and then earn money from it. Of course, that is not false either, but for this particular story in my heart, the motivation is absolutely different.
I tried to script out my thoughts on paper. And, as I have already stated, I tried twice. On the first instance, though I had been going great, I realized that I had begun to face repeated writer’s blocks as soon as I began to reach 15k words in toto. So, to expand my content from then on to the size of a normal book (60-80k words) turned out to be an arduous course which I ultimately gave up on.
It wasn’t really giving up. It was more like about realizing that I needed more practice, more writing hours to build my ken onto how to better articulate my thoughts on paper. Also, I felt that my writing was still at a very greenhorn stage, and I needed to hone my skills further if I wanted my book to be a successful one whenever it finally came out.
And, thus I deliberately and consciously decided to halt the project to further polish my skills, read a lot more books, and to increase my daily writing hours. This was also the time when I had taken up a move to build a stronger vocabulary as well. So in the coming months, I went on with self-imposed challenges like adding 150 words to vocabulary in a month and other similar things.
In fact, this particular challenge had been so instrumental in transforming my writations in a short span, that I then went on to take up an even tougher challenge to add 300 words to my vocabulary in a month. Now, that was a heavyweight as I would now have to master ten new words every day. I was prepared to allocate all the time and energy. But, mentally I didn’t have the stamina yet.
I would turn vapid by the time I would be done with practicing 6-7 words every day, and my retention would only deteriorate from there on. Thus, this challenge simply didn’t lead to intended fruition. I mean, I did complete the challenge, but I didn’t reap the outcomes I thought I would. Anyway, even with lesser than intended results, I did manage to bolster my vocabulary with new and bigger arsenal of words at my disposal.
Meanwhile, these were also the days when I had been writing so much on Quora, that I would be spending four to five hours each day just writing. Now, that may not be a big deal for an aspiring writer. Maybe. But, that is definitely a big deal when you have also got college, engineering assignments, academics, examinations and all that BS to take care of while building on your passion.
Owing to the efforts I had been putting in, my total views ballooned and followership on Quora grew from like 500 something to 5000 within a span of a few months. Now, that was a huge confidence boost for a person like me. I had been reading 2-3 hours a day, practicing new words 1-2 hours, and then writing 4-5 hours. Thus, my growth as a writer on Quora was a great deal of remuneration and mental satisfaction for me.
And, it was close to that period that I thought I had learned a lot of things and am a much better writer now. Thus, I determined to revive the book project that I couldn’t complete the last time. And, without any superfluous clutter and nonsense, I would just cut to the chase. This time again I failed. Though I did fair better than my previous attempt. This time, I got stuck at around 30k words and that was it.
But, it turned out to be rosier than it sounds. By now, I had realized that I am set on the right path. Maybe I just need more practice in writing, so that I could further better my skills and maneuvers. Because when I had begun to write, I was pathetic at the trade. And, ever since I had managed to tread a long way. So, given I kept practicing hard, I knew for certain that I would get good quite soon.
And, since then, I have been doing just that. I have been writing almost every day. I have extended my daily reading hours so that I can learn more and more from established and acclaimed writers. Also, I have been trying to further expand my ken and experience into different genres to better my versatility. And, all in all, its been quite an enthralling experience.
Almost a year and a half ago, I had begun this journey with an output of about 300-500 words of total writing a day. A year later I had built myself the stamina and potential to churn out as much as 2-2.5k words per day. And, in the present state, I am happy that my daily stamina is well over 3k and it mostly exceeds the 3.5k count on several days. So, no doubt I am growing every day.
I am blooming one petal at a time. And, as I keep blooming, my essence is only going to get stronger. And, that gives me the inspiration to keep practicing and not giving up. Because I know that this is the only way I am going to get good enough to write a book of my own. Practice is the key here. At times it indeed feels tough to carry on with this practice. I feel vexed up and disgruntles when I don’t see tangible outcomes.
And, at those times all that helps me keep going is trust. Trust in the process to deliver. Trust in my ability to do better. And, my growth being the corroboration of that statement, I rest my point. That was all I had to share in today’s blog post. I don’t know why I never really shared this with anyone. Maybe I could never really find the divine and pristine moment to talk about this experience of my two book writing projects that didn’t pan out.
But, today I finally did. I guess it was because of the memories of those days reminisced in my head as I was reading through “The Saint, The Surfer, and The CEO” by Robin Sharma in my reading session of my Miracle Morning Schedule. I woke up today at 4:45 am, and had been reading the said book from 5:02 am to 5:45 am.
And, it was probably an outcome of those thoughts which brewed up in my head in that session, that I ended up sharing this chapter of my life when I began with my writing ritual at 5:55 am. It’s 6:45 now and it’s about time for me to close this blog post. I hope the earnest reader may have found something valuable to take away from this post.
Wishing the reader, a blissful and energized day ahead. Smile and shine. Bliss!