Around fourteen months back, I used to be a part of a cohort of thirteen people. Four guys and nine girls to be precise. And, at the same time, I also used to share a camaraderie with a number of other people who I still am a neighbour to.
Yet, today I am a lone rider. And, neither of them can say that they drifted apart from me because I was the one who cut myself off them all. I don’t detest them. It’s just that having a huge set of people to depend on, and who also depend on you was something that I had simply grown old to.
Those were people who I had expectations from. They too naturally had expectations from me. Quite certainly, I was not doing a great job on living up to so many people’s agendas, and same was the case with either of them as well. This would lead to superfluous fights and arguments when anyone would let down the other.
Sometimes my harsh words would displease others. At other times, their words would be too scathing for my 3mm skin to bear. Or at times both, the other person and I were just too intransigent and bloated with ego to ever look back at the other person again in long times to come.
All of this was driving nothing good into my life. Even if some good did happen, it was way lesser to compensate for the immense loss of time, energy, potential intelligence and most importantly the loss of peace time and again. All of this in my perception was just one thing- A set of Distractions.
These are my personal thoughts, and I don’t say that they are universal. So, I request the reader to please not take umbrage if they disagree with my rationale. Getting back to where I was, after a lot of deliberations on the way I was leading my life I reached a definite conclusion-
Every ounce of time and energy I was spending on any of those people, their talks, their words, their anger or expectations, was the ounce of time and energy that could have been well invested into my own growth. In a nutshell, it was time and energy squandered off.
And, ergo, I have ever since been living a life, cut off from a whole lot of people who I used to associate with multiple times every day. The ones who really matter now are just my parents and a handful others who I can bet are no more than just four or five individual souls. Even that might be an exaggeration.
Yet, in no way over these fourteen months have I ever felt lonely, forlorn or hapless. Rather, it has been an amazing course in which I actually bonded with myself like never before, learned that one needs nobody else to have fun or be at peace or to let out one’s feelings. I discovered that each individual is self-sufficient in oneself.
This period of embracing myself and channelling all my time and energy into just one person- Me, has resulted in a mentally and emotionally stronger and resilient self who seldom gets into fights, prefers writing over gossiping, reading over talking and learning a bunch of stuff than partying around with the cohort.
Life is more peaceful and vibrant this way, at least for me it is. Going out alone does not feel boring to me no more. I am more observant than I ever was. I find colours everywhere which I earlier used to miss engrossed into friends, their lives and their unending chit-chat. I realized that universe has much to offer one, than just a bunch of friends.
Never in this course have I ever felt the need to go back to those people or to invite them back into building a bond with me again. Never. Rather, I have built myself a friend who would never let me down like I and my social group did to each other plenty of times- Myself.
I hope the aforementioned thoughts augment some value to the reader’s perspective. Bliss!