23rd Dec 2014: The first time I got into a relationship.
23rd Jan 2015: The first time we went out on a date hiding from college seniors.
12th Feb 2015: The first time we hugged, since the valentine week was on.
14th Feb 2015: The first time someone kissed me and left my cheek red, after I had adorned her neck with a pendant and a chain.
7th Mar 2015: The first time I dreamed with beloved what our (not my) future family would be like.
14th Mar 2015: The first time I let her come so close to me that her breath could be felt on my neck, leaving goose bumps on parts of body where I didn’t even knew one could have goose bumps.
1st May 2015: The first time when our lips met. It was the first time I had kissed a girl. It was a drizzling night when we were standing under a tree having a burger when I tried to grab a piece off her burger. And then one thing led to another and it just happened. It was absolutely surreal. We even stopped all of a sudden to just laugh at amateurish each other. I still remember every detail of that setting.
20th Aug 2015: The first time I cried for she doubted my friendship with another girl. She thought I was choosing another girl over her. The incessant possessiveness had for the first time been verbalized with her doubting my love for her. Meanwhile my heart found a reason to doubt for the first time, if I had been right dreaming of a sustainable future with her. I wanted to just purge off those thoughts, but they never really did.
17th Sep 2015: The first time she told me that I was the reason behind every fight and flaw in our relationship. Now, this was really tough one to digest. I had always believed maybe we were both facing difficulties understanding each other’s priorities and thoughts. But, she for the first time seemed to be thinking differently. She blamed it all on me, my intransigence, my ego and whatnot. For the first time in our relationship, my self-esteem was put at stake.
5th Dec 2015: The first ever girl I had dared to dream my beautiful children and future with had turned the first ever girl I broke up with. The love was lost. The eyes had dried of tears to let out. And, the wreckage of two individual lives, their time, love and futures just had to stop. And, knowing she won’t ever make the call or accept that we were beyond repair, I took the bold decision for both of us. I ended the relationship of just over eleven months, for we both needed anything but a part of us.
3rd Mar 2016: The first time that very girl who had known me closely for eleven months, branded me a characterless bastard. Why? For I had dared to fall for another someone. The very girl who for way more than eleven months admired me for the reverence I held for the opposite gender now forgot it all and called me a characterless guy who uses girls to his pleasure. That was the first time I had been called that. I had never cried or questioned my own soul the way I did over the next three days.
It’s 5th Sep 2017: Over a year and nine months since I parted ways with her. I don’t really need to remember those details any more. But, I still do. I remember all those events and many more by the very dates and precise details. Not exactly because I don’t want to forget those experiences. But, because it’s so damn tough to just efface them of my head and heart. I can’t vouch the same for all guys out there who have ever been in an unsuccessful relationship.
But for most of us, it’s not easy to get over the person who once was the greatest joy of our eyes.
I hope this brief relationship timeline I just shared with the reader helps in establishing that. Bliss!