Dear Zindagi,

We have been introduced to each other for over twenty-two and a half years now. During this long course, we have been through some tough and rough patches and some beautiful cherished ones too. But, despite losing love for you so very many times, you always found ways to make me fall back in love with you.

The rejections from those girls were tough. I remember that when I faced my first rejection on the last day of my eighth grade, I cried so badly. That day, I cursed you a lot. I determined to never again fall for anyone. And, each time I did fall back again. And, writing about that at this precise moment, I am laughing at my own self. You taught me that as time passes, our worst of memories also turn into most laughable ones.

But, why only talk about the rejection when you also got me to experience the great joy which follows the acceptance of your proposal to a girl. I was in my first year of college back then, and I was running from one friend to another, hugging them, dancing and in the case of one, even kissing on the cheek and humping on the behind happened. I was not drunk but anyone would say that I was intoxicated to my heels.

You taught me that when one is overboard with joy, one tends to lose one’s senses and control. And, when one does that, one tends to make more silly mistakes than one naturally does. And, I did make mistakes. Oh! That would be an understatement. I made blunders. But, with those joys, and blunders which followed, you taught me how to maintain composer and resolve. With such experiences, you taught me how to keep calm and cherish the moment rather than going haywire.

Apparently, with everything good or bad happening to me, you kept teaching me lessons that would help me evolve into a better, stronger and more resilient self. And, those lessons did help me evolve as a person. They continue to do so. Never did I ever acknowledge it but yes, you were my greatest teacher and that’s never going to change.

You have been the witness to every rueful and immoral deed that I ever was a part of. And, yet, I would lie to you, present sundry excuses, and try to justify my follies to you. As if that was going to correct my mistakes and make me righteous. But, you never complained. You always knew that time would teach me my lesson quick. And, it happened just that way.

There did come a day when I realized that lying to my own Zindagi was not really helping me, but only creating a farce of phoney veil around me. I did know that this shady veil would not secure me forever, and a day it would blow away. But, it was really tough to accept that harsh reality, so I continued to lie to myself until one day, I just had to stop. Zindagi, you taught me the lesson, and I have never again lied to myself to this present.

When I was depressed, I cursed you. When my parents would not understand or support me, I would curse you more. When I would fail to accomplish something, I would blame it all on you. Those and a plethora of other things which didn’t go as per my plans and desires always ended up with me chiding you and blemishing it all on you.

But, now that I realize that those were all experiences you were exposing me to, trying to teach me how to be better in the dynamic but beautiful game of life. You were building me bit by bit, experience by experience, one at a time. And, it took me over twenty-two years to acknowledge all of that. But, now, I do. And, I just want to say, “I love you.”

Yup, I just said it- “My dear Zindagi, I love you.”

Bliss!

Shilanjan

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