Dearest Reader,

After I lost my father, I was viscerally afflicted and shattered like any other 19-Year-Old in my situation would have been. Everything around me was falling apart. Tears would not stop rolling down my Maa’s cheeks leaving behind soared skin around the eyes and rashes on the cheeks.

She had lost one of the two men who defined her living, the other being me. I had lost the man who I knew would shield our family against all the problems and troubles that life was going to throw our way.

Furthermore, my father was the bread earner of the house. So, the uncertainty about handling the burgeoning expenses and my further studies and household needs et cetera had left our already tensed minds inundated with miserable and terrifying thoughts which only vitiated our states.

The family which had finally begun to come to some composure and peace after a prolonged period of financial struggle and hardships had been pushed into the murky gulf of doom which simply didn’t seem to come to an end. Problems, worries and tensions were popping out of every single dimension of our lives harbingering a dark future.

What happened to our family of three was really bad. It had left in us a void so huge, that once in a while I wake up weeping for father visited me in the dream but vanished as I woke up. I began to hate the unwanted turn my life had veered into as life had begun to feel like a heavy drag. My Maa or I were not prepared for such a blow.

That were us after the tragedy had knocked upon our doors on 24th June 2014. However now almost three years have passed since. Now when I look back my memory lane and parse the changes my life has been through, I realize not everything was actually that bad. A lot of good things followed the incident which otherwise broke my world into don’t know how many tiny pieces.

It brought my Maa and me much closer than we ever were. I realized the real worth of a parent and she too took cognizance of the fact that she was not going to be alone while I was around to buttress her. Our belief in each other rose like never before.

I became much more responsible as I had now understood the importance that every moment of my life accounts for because any moment can be my last. I can never know when life may snatch her away from me or me away from her. Empowered by that realization, I make sure that we don’t fight over petty issues no more, rather discuss and decide.

After all, if any moment can be the last one for our togetherness, then why take any chances of ruining that moment by emotions of rage, ego or anger? Love is what defines our bond, and it should remain as immaculate as that even when one of us may no more be around.

Neither one of us should be left with grief or compunction for she/I ruined the last times we got to cherish in each other’s presence. The realization added bliss to our relationship and bolstered the peace and understanding we hold with each other.


Another great change that death brought about in my life was the following-

When I saw my father’s body for the last time, that pale face left me so horrified and distraught, that I forgot what else defined fear for me. Unless something else so powerful surfaces in my life, I don’t think there is anything else that can make me feel afraid or puny anymore.

Watching my ever-blithesome father unmoving and pallid was the worst I could have been put through. And, as I extruded that component of fear from my life, I discovered so many opportunities and experiences to glean and explore which my fear had been sapping me off.

Since, nothing seemed unachievable or too big for my capacity anymore, I learned how to push myself to the extremes and define new capacities for myself doing and partaking those activities which otherwise could have left me unnerved.

This way I got to learn about several activities and traits that I was deft at, but never gave a shot to. I began to take challenges that I had been running away from all my life and began to take on them head on. If someone ever tried to belittle me now, I was no more the person who would be affected a tad bit. Because nothing was fearful enough anymore.

It empowered me to take cognizance of my sequestered indomitable might and thus gave me the strength to stop succumbing to the wrongs happening around me. The tough experiences and affliction that followed my father’s bereavement only made me tougher, more resilient and tenacious.

And, that brings me to the greatest lesson all of the above happenings introduced me to-

We always learn the most from our most difficult experiences. Yet, we spend so much of our lives focusing on the negative aspects of those experiences rather than seeing them for what they truly are- Our Greatest Teachers.

By accepting the truth, and daring to overtly talk about Papa’s untimely demise and writing about those dreary experiences which followed only emboldened me. In the beginning, tears would begin to roll down as soon as I would even think about him.

But, as time has passed, the acceptance of that harsh reality and wearing it as pristine insignia on my chest has only made me stronger to take steps and actions that can elevate me to the greatness that my parents and I have envisioned for myself.

With that said, I would like to close the post with underscoring on one point-

Don’t run away from the bad things that happened in your life. Accept them, and learn from them. Only then would you realize that those are actually the greatest teachers you could have ever come across. This change in your outlook of life can change your living for the best.

Regards,

Shilanjan

 

2 thoughts on “Somethings That I Learned After I Was Bereaved Of My Father.

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