Life is too tough sometimes. You know, the times when it feels like everything around you is going wrong. At those moments shit gets hard to handle and you turn into a mess. Correction- A pathetic mess!
And then more shit follows. Everything happens just the way you never envisaged. The goodness and joys in the world around you begin to fade away. And, then there comes a dark moment when bad ideas crop up your mind.
What sort of bad ideas? You know the ones which make you feel like your life isn’t worth living. And, as soon as you accept that idea, another vile idea follows almost instantaneously. What is that?
“I can’t take it anymore.” That’s what Ravi wrote in his last letter to his parents before he slit his wrist. The vicious and devilish idea that I mentioned above was that of suicide. Let’s just not use that word again in this post. It’s too ugly and I don’t like it.
I read about Ravi on a news daily maybe a month or so ago. Well, every day the news reports on television and newspapers highlight one serious issue. And, also now that we have social media boom, so those news are read by much more. These news are about how some young and bright fellow citizens who decided to take the easy escape route christened suicide and ended their lives.
And, these news are always in the counts of hundreds and thousands and that is sad. That is a very large number auguring a very grim image of our society. So, I once sat down to think what the solution to this alarming issue can be. And, after numerous thoughts here is what I came up with- Nothing!
Had the solution to this bugbear been so simple, the problem would have been effaced from the planet’s phiz a long time ago. So, I thought more and more about the issue. And, finally the light bulb lit up! I ended up with something positive in my hands.
Though I didn’t manage to gestate a solution, but I built a realization. And, this realization was a very strong and powerful one. The powerful discovery of mine was the following fact- Small babies are way more resilient, tenacious, and hardworking and dedicated than we adults are.
I realized that those babies who can’t even walk, talk, comprehend, eat or poop on their own are actually much more strong willed and mentally powerful. Meanwhile, we adults have only turned weaker and some, even more, weaker with each passing year of life.
Allow me to elucidate that with my own example which you too will be able to relate to cent percent.
I was pushed out of my home of nine months. I was evicted from there in a painful manner from a hole too small to fit me in. And, the world that I was thrown into was not just strange, but also unknown to me. I was a new born and my home, my womb had been snatched away from me.
It was so bright outside that I could hardly even open up my eyelids. And when I did open up my eyes, I was shocked. Here were these giants all around me shouting around in strange languages that I had no ken to comprehend. They were all laughing and jovial while I was crying my eyes out.
But matters were even worse. I could not express myself or understand them. Neither could I walk or talk. And, of course, I could not feed myself. And, the worst thing was that I didn’t even know how to wash my own dump. Imagine today, someone else would have to wash my butt. Urgh!!
That’s tough and strenuous start for a newborn who is forced to assimilate to an all new world after nine months of sojourn at a cozy place. Imagine how tough life would have been back then.
I was a cry baby who was incapable of doing anything. I knew nothing. I could do nothing. I was totally a liability on others around me. In fact, people had to carry me around like a baggage in their arms all the time.
I tried. I tried even harder. And, I finally learnt to walk and talk. Some time later I also mastered how to eat on my own and wash my own poop. Phew! And, all this did not happen at once. It took a lot of time. Seriously, a lot of time.
I had fallen a large number of times while I tried to walk. I uttered endless garbage and crap that meant nothing before I uttered “Maa” for the first time. And, to perfect this art was an altogether different and arduous course. But, I made it through.
I cried. I got bruised and broken. I cried more. But, ultimately I conquered all those odds that were attached to me by birth. I obliterated all the odds which were the toughest for a greenhorn baby to deal with.
And, now that I am a grown up, I have attained a lot of add-on skills which should ideally make me better equipped and strengthen my capability to handle the tough travails of life. But, something must not be adding up. Because if we would have actually emboldened ourselves on various fronts, then the tally of suicides would not have been as alarming.
And, then after a lot of ideas and thoughts, this is what I came up with. My greatest discovery ever is just about to be unveiled. So, get set for the big revelation. Drum rolls! And, here we go!
Actually, the problem is that we have learnt and experienced a lot of things ever since we were born. As a newborn, I had not seen or been accustomed to the way this world works. I had no clue about the various vices, travails, negatives and everything wrong about the world.
But with years and years passing by, I kept witnessing those. And, with each passing day, bit by bit, those expressions and experiences kept embedding deep into my head. And, though I was learning a lot of good things, I was also letting into me a lot of things that should never have been there in me in a utopian world. But, I was oblivious to all of this shit which went on gestating behind the scenes.
Then, I got familiar with expressions of anger, rage and ego. I adapted them slowly. I then got accustomed to the powerful terms like hate and disdain, which taught me how to dislike others and form enmity for someone. Then the ego, anger, rage and hate compounded. And, misery followed.
When these variants of devil compounded, they gave rise to a deluge of negative traits and ideas. These would often collapse my rational thinking and also impact my balance of life. There would often be silent wars where these devils would over and over again try to gain more influence over me.
However, it all happened silently behind my back. I never noticed the decay that I was subjected to over the years of life. Neither did most of the people around me discovered the truth, as they too were unknowingly going deep into the same deep and murky gulf of doom.
And, then a boom occurred. What does the boom signify? The day when those traits finally won the war over everything positive in me. I had become used to theses emotions of hate, narcissism, selfishness, petulance and much more. And, that was when my righteous board of governors were thrown over.
“What board or governors?” The reader may be confused. I’m talking about the qualities that made me the strongest and toughest person alive at a time when I was a newborn who knew nothing but to cry and poop. I was no longer as tenacious, resilient, and positive and dedicated to succeed against all the travails that life would test me against.
Each passing day I kept turning disgruntled and my view of my own kept hitting a new rock-solid nadir every next day. And, not far away was the day when I was ultimately demotivated and lost. I didn’t lose against life, but myself.
So, my sanctum, my body was poisoned. And, my warriors were no longer powerful enough to protect me and obliterate the poison. As a result, I kept on decaying and the depreciation went on. And, that is how the greatest transition in me was actualized-
“The transition from a baby who would never give up no matter what to a 22-year-old who would go as far as to think about giving up on life.”
That is the discovery I made. I realized how I was better being a baby after all. We often say that with age come experiences, lessons, maturity and wisdom. But, for some kooky reason, it seems to me like maybe I was way richer in those attributes at the times when I was incapable to even talk or walk.
And, now that I had finally learnt the basic theory of how many of us humans end up giving up on life, I learnt a lesson which I would now be sharing with one and all who would be reading the post. And, I request the reader that in case you find this nugget on life to be of any help, then do pass it on to others in your circles who may need it.
Life is tough. It’s scathing at times and unbearable at others. One often has to bleed, struggle and fight for survival and that’s not at all easy. I get it. But, you simply can’t give up anymore! And, if you do that, it would be your greatest folly in the history of mankind.
What makes me say so? Well, you are a warrior ever since birth. You fought valiantly to acquire what you deserve, be it the art of walk, talk or to comprehend. You have already beaten the greatest bottlenecks that the life could throw on you at the earliest stage of your creation.
Just for sake of patronizing you, I may even say that you raced and won against millions of sperms to actually come alive. You are not one in a million, but one in several millions. You are no wonder a living body of greatness on this planet.
My friend, life may seem to be unbearably painful, but you must realize that you have beaten greater odds in previous times, you can do it again. That was the worst you could have been put through in a completely unknown and strange world, but you found reasons to live back then.
Just look into yourself and find back that warrior in you. Find back that baby in you. And, that baby will tell you how to conquer life again. And, that’s where I rest my case-
“A baby is stronger than an adult!”