An letter from a son to his father who expired some time back leaving behind a 20 Yr-old son and a mourning wife. Theson pens down the pain and sorrow that he had to go through during the festive period of Diwali.
I hope you’re doing great.
You know what, I keep on telling everyone, I didn’t burn any crackers to support the cause of eco-friendly Diwali. While, the truth is that, for me it’s not fun anymore! There is no joy or festivity that Diwali brings in for me. Why? Because, the person who made it feel like a festival is not in this world anymore.
The fun was never in burning those crackers. It was all about your presence. To go with you, to buy crackers, summing way beyond what Maa permitted us to spend J. To burn a Aloo bomb and shout, “Papa, Dekho kya mastt awaaz aayegi!!”. That was the fun part. It was always about you. And, never about any Diwali or any crackers that mattered to me.
I didn’t know how to tell people that I am not celebrating Diwali because the man who used to buy me my crackers is not buying me stuff anymore. He is not going to take me to shop for crackers anymore. He is not going to be there to watch me burn those crackers anymore. He is not there to take me and Maa on a ride across the city after Diwali celebrations anymore. So, I end up telling them, I support eco-friendly Diwali!
“What an easy way to live beneath a cover of a fake life and evade the pain!”, I thought. But, it didn’t turn out to be that easy. So, I ended up penning down everything for you to read.
You were so fond of those crackers & especially anaars, that those sparkling lights emitted by their flares used to light up your face. And, your lighted up face was exquisite enough to bring smiles to our faces. But now, whenever I see any blistering crackers flaring high in the sky, I find it nearly impossible to hold down my tears. The noise of crackers which once used to cheer me up in a flash, now irritates me and tears me down to the core.
I don’t know where you are. I don’t know how you are. But, I know that you are watching me and reading this letter right now. So, if you can find a way then please just answer one question for me and my Maa, “Why?”.
Your beloved Beta.